SO, WHAT IS A DEATH DOULA?
May the flame never be extinguished.
TW: Discussion of death, loss, and grief.
--What is a death doula?--
Just as a birth doula helps one enter, a death doula helps one leave. I assist you with comfort, end of life arrangements, assist the person who is leaving and their family to help them navigate through the whole end-of-life process.
--What services does a death doula offer?--
Each death doula is different and offers services within their niche or purview, which can include things such as: sitting vigil at the time of passing, in home body preparation, death rituals, grief working, digital assets/social media accounts, legacy projects [items to be given to loved ones, made with or by the person leaving], assist with navigating a life altering/terminal diagnosis, and so on.
--Why work with a death doula?--
Death is taboo. We dont talk about it socially as it can be considered grim, dour, or just outright brings down the vibe of a room. We need to talk about it. Its going to happen to all of us, like it or not - and being prepared can ease the process, or begin healing if the process is already under way. Death doulas and end of life workers are here to hold the torch as you pass through the dark - we are your guide through uncertain times, your navigator on stormy seas, and your rock. I am with you to assist in coordination of care, advocacy, household tasks - whatever you may need for support outside of medical care provided by the supervising health care team. Simply put - I am in your service for the intense, the painful, the mundane, the emotional - the 'all of the above'.
Before we do anything exchanging funds - I will consult with you on your needs absolutely free of charge. However, if you already know what you need, there are services ready to book without a pre-consult.
--What sort of passings do death doulas work with?--
As above, each practitioner is different - I personally work with any passings, including miscarriages, abortions, pets, and self ending. I also work directly with those affected through loss afterwards, to walk along side them through their grief and recovery. I also work with leaving your past or past self behind, whatever form that may take for you.
--What do you charge for your services?--
So that everyone has the level of care they deserve in a crucial time - my rates vary - depending on the service(s) and the length of time I am with you, as well as fixed rate vs sliding scale for some income brackets. I also, under some circumstances, will provide care pro-bono and do accept the gifting of sponsorships to those who may need assistance. We will discuss exactly what you are interested in, your care needs, and draw up a package based on that which will suit your budget. I am contracted to you as a professional. Everyone deserves care - dont worry about price. We will make it work.
--Are death doulas religious or secular?--
That is up to each individual, however, this practice is no denomination, no judgement. I am a student of world cultures regarding death rituals, and can adhere to and respectfully facilitate any desired flow or style, including ancient rites. My personal beliefs and spiritual position do not influence my practice, and are only discussed if you so desire. The spiritual space of the client supersedes all else.
This is not about me; this is about you - my client, my friend - and the needs you have to be met.